Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!!!

I remember when Chia Pets were BRAND NEW. Oh, you couldn't get away from those commercials and they were hideous. I never had one back then, but I've got one NOW!

My son spotted them during a grocery trip, and had seen a commercial for it somewhere, so of course we just had to have one. And of course, being a sane parent, I said "NO WAY, JOSE!"

Enter unsuspecting husband, who unwittingly invites son to go to the store with him...

Our new Chia Pet is the kitten:

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It has a black glazed head sitting on top of the clay body. It looks easy, but don't let the box fool you. The body has to be submerged in water for 24 hours. The seeds have to be soaked for 24 hours. There are enough seeds in the packet for 3 plantings. Of course, no one read directions, so I have two plantings worth of seed goo sitting on my counter now. But the rest of it has been smeared all over this poor unsuspecting clay kitten, who in 1-2 weeks will sprout lovely green "fur". We hope.

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BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!!! This Chia Pet came with a BONUS alarm clock!

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See those little black holes over its forelegs? They put out an AMAZING volume of noise.

My son has decided that this will be his alarm clock, so I set the clock, set the alarm, wish him good night and retire to my own bed, where I promptly pass out from all the excitement of Chia Pet ownership.

About two hours later: CH-CH-CH-CHIA!!!! CH-CH-CH-CHIA!!! ...and it's not stopping. Over and over again, CH-CH-CH-CHIA!!! I stumble out of bed and push (in the dark) the button that makes it stop. I put it down and stumble back to bed.

Two hours later, CH-CH-CH-CHIA!!! CH-CH-CH-CHIA!!! Oh, my god. I stumble back out of bed, press the button that makes the damned thing shut up, wrap it in a towel and put it in the bathroom and close the doors. THAT'LL fix it!!! Stumble back to bed.

Two hours later, CH-CH-CH-CHIA!!! It's a little muffled, but I can STILL hear it! This time, my husband actually wakes up for the Chia adventure, and HE goes, finds it in the bathroom, turns it off and takes it across the house to the kitchen, still wrapped in the towel. Then he trudges back to bed, saying that locking it in the bathroom wasn't good enough. Hmph.

Two hours later, CH-CH-CH-CHIA!!!!! At least this time, it's time for my husband to get up. He trudges to the kitchen to make coffee and kill CH-CH-CH-CHIA!!!! I put my head under the pillow and go back to sleep, which is blissfully uninterrupted until my son comes in around 7am all mad because his alarm clock didn't wake him up at 6am like it was supposed to. I sit up and blearily rub my eyes. HE never stirred each time the Chia Clock went off.

It has been blissfully silent all day. I would suspect that the batteries had been removed, but the clock part is still going. So instead, I suspect my husband actually read the directions. May our sleep be uninterrupted tonight - at least by CH-CH-CH-CHIA!

4 comments:

nikki said...

i'm giving a chia homer simpson as a cmas gift to one of my ever simpson lovin' friend. at least this one doesn't come with an alarm clock. he'd probably kill me if it did.

Jeff said...

How annoying! lol I need a white elephant gift for a party I am going to. tee hee

quinn said...

hahahaha....now that is funny...( to me )...I would have been pretty ( pardon the pun.)..."ticked" off after all that.
I am surprised it wasn't smashed into oblivion.

Anonymous said...

In the words of the song, "I'm so glad I'm, nopt young any more!" But Lord what a laugh..sorry kid..I'm sure its Divine Retribution..but I can't recall anything you did to deserve it.

Dad