A couple of posts ago, I took a quiz and it turns out I'm equal parts Carl Jung and Mother Teresa... Oh, how I wish. I would love to have Mother Teresa's patience and caring. And maybe if I were a psychiatrist, I would know how to deal with what's going on with my son right now.
He's 7 going on 14 in the teenaged angst-kind of way. I don't know for sure if there's a problem at school or a problem at home or a combination of the two. This morning featured a temper tantrum and slammed car doors. A strange ending for such a great beginning when I sat on his bed and rubbed his back until he woke up, sat up beaming and gave me a big hug.
The biggest issue right now SEEMS to be homework. He doesn't want to do it. Something that should take him 20 minutes max is taking all afternoon and an hour in the morning. It's not that he doesn't get it or that he's not smart - it's that he doesn't WANT to do it. And when he DOES do it, he loses it or just leaves it at home so he doesn't get credit for it. There are lots of arguments and tears. Time outs. The "distractions" (read toys) have been packed up and removed from his room. We've tried cajoling, bribing, cooperation, help and tough love. Nothing seems to help.
But is homework the actual problem, or is it a symptom of something else?
I know he had a bully-ing incident at school a couple of months ago. He reluctantly talked to us about it and we also talked to our KenPo instructor about it. I have assured him that he would not get in trouble with me if he had to defend himself at school, although he probably would get in trouble with the school. Is there bully-ing going on that he doesn't want us to know about? Is taking KenPo making him worry about it all the more - the necessity of being able to defend himself at all?
He has also said that he has a hard time getting to sleep because he's worrying so much. About nuclear bombs, the end of the world, and the meaning of life. He mentioned this to me a while ago and we talked about it and it never came up again... until last night. So he's still worrying.
This is particularly of concern to us because we already have a kid with schizoid affective disorder. Supposedly it was caused by a head injury, but what if it wasn't and we're starting to see the beginnings of a mental illness here? This is scary stuff. I have seen how negatively my step-son has been affected by it. He's an incredibly smart and artistic person who disappears behind disordered thinking and alcohol abuse on a fairly regular basis. I don't wish that on anyone and it's scary to think that it might be a possibility for my other son. His brother started out thinking the same kinds of things.
Z-boy actually asked if there was a doctor that could get that stuff out of his head. So I will do what I can to locate someone he can talk to and see if we have an actual problem on our hands. Or if it's a phase - a very weird one that I've never heard of before.
All you more-seasoned Mommies... any advice?