My fantasy may come true.
I went to look at that house again today - no kid. No husband. Best friend Kelly by my side. She talked to the real estate agent about practical things while I walked around and felt the house. Good space. Good light. Good vibes. It's a peaceful house. Serene.
It does need some work. The carpets, which were, sadly, very excellent carpets will need to come up. No amount of scrubbing will remove the stains or the smells of that poor dog. My flea allergies will necessitate bare floors. The paint will need to be redone. It's a little too dark and is also holding the dog smell. The hideous wallpaper will come down in the bathrooms.
There are a couple of minor problems. Nothing that cannot be fixed relatively easily. The roof is in good shape. The plumbing is in good repair. The wiring is problem free.
When we were done, I knew this was my house. I called my husband and told him. And when I got home I called the bank. These last 10 years of fixing our debt, going without, and repairing our credit has finally paid off. We will have no trouble securing a loan that won't break us.
Tomorrow we will make an offer.
I am so excited - and so at peace. These last few months, living in this house, have stressed me out so much that my body is rebelling. It wants no part of this noise. My soundtrack is not the thump of bass that surrounds me constantly here. Perhaps I am getting old, but my three main needs for a house are good school zones, safe environment for my son and my cats, and quiet. This house seems to meet all three of those criteria.
I'm still slightly puffy, but the swelling is down. The hives are gone. I can go to work tomorrow! I love going to work. I miss going to work. Tomorrow - I go to work! Big hugs and many thanks to those of you who expressed your concerns. The issues aren't over, but I'm definitely heading down the right side of the hill on this last go round. It'll be nice to be on level ground again.