Monday, April 02, 2007

Lotsa bits of things and such

MY SWEET LORD
I was cruising around the internet yesterday when I came across a story about an artist who'd carved a chocolate Jesus. Life-sized. Anatomically correct. And getting a lot of flack about it. Guess he's having the last laugh.


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NEW YORK - An anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ infuriated Catholics and even led to threats, but the artist says offers to buy or exhibit the piece have been pouring in.

Artist Cosimo Cavallaro said Saturday that because of "some people who are fanatics" and the threats he received, he had stored the sculpture in a refrigerated truck in an undisclosed location.

A Manhattan gallery on Friday called off a planned exhibit of the 6-foot sculpture — called "My Sweet Lord" — amid a deluge of complaints from Catholics, including Cardinal Edward Egan.


I found it on MSN.com and at the bottom was a poll to see how many people found this offensive. When I checked it, the offended and the non-offended were neck-and-neck, with the undecideds running a distant third.

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IT'S OFFICIAL
According to the one of the newspapers columnists in the Sunday paper, we haven't had any significant rainfall (read "measurable") since February 1st. That's two months, my friends. Quite noteworthy in supposedly "tropical" type climate. We've had drought before. In fact, of the last 10 years, 6 of them had significantly below-normal rainfall. Then came the year of the hurricanes, and things normalized for a little while. And now we're back to this dry stuff. I just hope we don't wind up with wildfires like last time.

The reason for the article wasn't to comment on the lack of rain, however. It was about the overabundance of tree pollen. And how even people who don't normally suffer from allergies this time of year are sneezing and rubbing their eyes. Me? I have a couple of snorts of Astelin up each nostril every morning. But telling you doesn't mean anything unless you happen to live around here. Let me show you.

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Every car in town is yellow. Looks like we never paved our roads. The stuff covers the ground like brown snow. This is a river rock bed - with pollen and leaves so thick you can't even see the rocks.

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Unless you look REAL close.

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FINDING PEACE

If you're a praying-kind of person, please say one for Nikki's grandma (and for Nikki too). Things aren't looking so good for granny sticking around much longer, but she says she's ready and is at peace. For you, Nikki.

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OTHER MEDICAL NEWS

Some of you regular visitors know that I was going to see the plastic surgeon today for a consult. I went. I sat in the waiting room and filled out several sheets of medical information. I looked around for a magazine to thumb through. Guess what was far and away the most popular magazine in the room. The AARP Magazine. I kid you not.

When they finally called my name, I was ushered into one of those rooms you see on "Extreme Makeover". There was a hard plastic dentist-type chair and a huge mirror on the back of the door. I guess patients want to see their results. I thought I might pass on that one, thanks. the nurse came in and said the doctor would be right in, but to stay dressed for the moment. I might want to meet him for the first time with my clothes still on. Har-dee-har-har. Well, okay. But I'm a 45 year old lady and modesty + doctors went out the window several years ago. It would figure that after developing an attitude like that I'd wind up with a problem "down there"...

Good thing I brought my book - a recommendation of Nikki's - The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella. When the doctor finally came in, we talked a bit about what he needed to do as I sat there in that hard plastic chair. I was trying to figure out how he was going to examine me in this chair that was more suited to botox injections than what we needed to do. Apparently he realized the same problem because I was moved to another room. It was still a chair, but it did have stirrups. After a couple of false starts at trying to adjust the chair, I told him what to do and we wound up in the right place.

I was still reading my book while he had a look-see and we chatted. It's amazing what one can get used to... Anyway, he was having a hard time locating the spot because the last biopsy had healed up pretty well and was just a little dot. Rather than schedule the next biopsy for another time, he decided to go ahead and do it now while he could still find it. He and the nurse went out to get what they needed - so I read. They came back and shot me up with something to numb me down there then went away again while it had time to do it's work. Still reading.

When they returned, I was good and numb. He marked where he was going to cut with one of those surgical pens, made sure I was not feeling anything, and went to work. I read my book, laughing out loud at a couple of passages. He said he'd never had anyone laugh during a procedure like this before. I told him they were bringing the wrong books to read.

Finally, he passed a little jar to the nurse, which had a piece of me about the size of a large olive pit in it and began sewing me up. They gave me prescriptions for darvocet and an antibiotic and that was it. That was IT!

5 hours later, I'm still pretty numb down there. I'm surprised by the amount of blood there is, but so far, it doesn't hurt. I guess I wasn't really expecting any. Anyway, the doctor assured me that once the numbness wears off, I'll be glad for the painkiller. I'm just not there yet.

I do have a feeling I might be working from home tomorrow though... and I'll be anxiously awaiting my results. I have no idea when those might come in.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Elvis pic!

Keeping you in my thoughts that uh...the pain down there is minimal and that all results are free and clear.

Glad the mail man got your package to you!

Anonymous said...

Oh, sorry about your... down there.

Here's hoping for speeding healing and good results!!

Anonymous said...

Imagine how the Catholics will feel about the person who eats the chocolate Jesus! LOL
Hope you're feeling okay!

Cathy said...

I'm Catholic.. and completely indifferent about the sculpture, however I loved nienke's comment about when it gets eaten, lol.

I'll be wishing for the best news to come your way regarding your down there results and hoping that pain never appears. :)

Kevin Charnas said...

And I'm sending you good thoughts for your results...and for rain too. :)

Me said...

How did the results come out?
Praying everything is going ok.