Tuesday, May 08, 2007

The Measure of a Man

Equality is a wonderful thing, but as I have discovered, there are indeed some fundamental differences between men and women.

By now, everyone has heard that men think about sex constantly. Constantly. And when they're not thinking about sex? I know what they're thinking.

Can I take him?

They're sizing up the other guys around them and deciding whether or not they can beat those other guys up.

I'm sure that somewhere in their brains are the thoughts that make their jobs work, their paychecks happen, their families function - but the top two thoughts in the male mind are when will I get laid again? and can I take him?

Yesterday after lunch with my dad and my brothers, Darling Man was quiet on the short drive back to work. Then out of the blue, he says, "I know what I'd have to do to take Andy. You can't just hit him - it would be like punching a concrete post. What would be the point? You'd have to wait until he came after you and then use his momentum against him."

What?????

Now you might be thinking that because we take KenPo, this kind of thing is a little closer to the surface than for "normal" people, but I must disabuse you of that notion. Darling Man has wondered aloud on other occasions, pre-KenPo, about his ability to "take" some other guy.

And it's not just him. I have spent most of my life around the male gender (being the only girl in a family of six kids). I have brothers. A father. Lots of male friends and co-workers. And at some time or another, I have heard ALL of them make a similar comment. I just never quite put it together until yesterday.

As a species, humans have done a lot of evolving. But we still have a lot in common with our ancient ancestors. Think about your idea of a caveman. There he is, in his animal skin with his scraggly long hair and beard, dragging some poor cavewoman back to his cave by the hair for sex. But what's in his other hand? A club.

Yup. Sex and survival. That's still what it's all about.

22 comments:

Prime said...

Excuse me? I've *NEVER* postulated on the possibility of my being able to beat someone up...

I'm far too genteel a homo for that.

nikki said...

My husband just speculates whether or not I can take him! Yeah, he knows whose the boss in the family.

Sayre said...

Never???? I guarantee you, that if you'd ever been threatened, it crossed your mind. That said, I think you may have a little too much female in you for it to be a constant issue. Personally, I'm glad I DON'T think about it all the time.

Nikki - you should see some of our sparring matches in the kitchen. Eventually, someone backs down....

Jeff said...

I don't know if I consciously make an effort to size up a fight between me and another male (unless there was a good reason). However, I think males think in terms of protecting the ones they love. Men size up a situation to determine the best possible way to provide for the security of his family - most of it is subconscious, I think. Anyway, that is how it is for me.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

Oh man. I am glad I have two girls. Of course, there will be other issues in raising them than boys!

Prime said...

Sure, I've been threatened.. but I guess its part of the luxury of being 6'4" and looking intimidating -- regardless of whether or not I can take someone, nobody ever actually tries me.

Sayre said...

Perhaps my perspective is a bit skewed. I have 5 brothers. 3 of them are black belts, or close to it in some form of martial art. My husband confesses that he has ALWAYS thought about his ability to "take" someone and feels more confident in it now that HE's been doing KenPo. So far, my son doesn't have those thoughts, but he's already been bullied so they may not be far away.

Jeff - I think you're right. It's more of a protective instinct than a pugilistic desire. When you're younger, you are protecting yourself. As you get older, you are protecting what you've worked for - a relationship, a home, your children...

Prime - I think maybe it's your eyebrows that make you intimidating.

Stephanie said...

You have eloquently described my brother and my husband except my husband, being the scientist-geek that he is, also is constantly running equations in his head.

Oh, my (single) gay friends are thinking, "Can I take him?" but not in the way you describe.

ablondeblogger said...

LOL! So true! Don't forget food, though!

Sorry to hear about your knee. I've been by when I can but have had trouble with getting Blogger comments to come up (so frustrating!)

Hope you feel 100% soon!

((((HUGS))))

ablondeblogger said...

Oh and happy birthday to your Dad! :)

quinn said...

I don't see any of the sizing another guy up...but the sex is right and ohhh the food...aww yeah it's basically all about sex and food!!

Janet said...

And food. Don't forget food. :)

Janet
www.theartofgettingby. (having google connection problems right now!)

Bungi said...

Same as before but with more finesse, i suppose...

Bungi said...

Can i blogroll you? Like your blog...

Anonymous said...

See OTJ's May 10 post on Tarzanism in the corporate world.
Mom

Anonymous said...

Man, is Corky gonna be pissed when he sees this... :D

John

Vancouver mermaid/Montreal photographer said...

Sayre - Hon, I just wanted to come by and say Happy Mother's day to you - is it on the same day in the states? it's this weekend in Canada. Anyway, I was just thinking about you and I wanted to let you know that :-)

Have a great weekend, friend.

Michelle

cafengocmy said...

Welsh, like Erse and probably others of the Gaelic languages is the western equivalent of Vietnamese or Cantonese. These languages were designed by God for the tongues of women to be incredibly pleasing to the Masculine ear.

HoosierGirl5 said...

I didn't know much about boys before I had my sons, but you are so right! Although, they don't discuss the "sex" thoughts with me, just the "Can I take him?" ideas.
Very astute post, Sayre.
J.

quinn said...

yo, sayre, is it me and my computer or have you not posted anything new ? lately????

Janet said...

Happy Mother's Day!

Janet:)
www.theartofgettingby.com

Me said...

hey, that's interesting. I never thought that.
Uhmmm...sex and the club.
Inter-esting.