Payback is hell.
Last night, around 1am, I suddenly came awake with a very strange pain in the middle of my back. It was akin to the feeling I always get when I eat hard-boiled eggs - like a fist lodged in my esophagus only slightly lower. Gas, maybe? I ate some Gas-X. I forced myself to burp. No dice.
I got up and went downstairs, where I watched three hours of Sex and the City, trying to calm my fears by burying myself in Charlotte's quest to become a mother, Miranda's decision to marry Steve, Carrie's odd new relationhip with a russian artist and Samantha's cancer diagnosis. I changed position frequently trying to dislodge what I was beginning to think might be a heart attack, which brought on a serious anxiety attack. Too bad I didn't remember my secret stash of Lorazapam, which would have calmed me enough to think rationally.
Eyes drooping and heart pounding, I grabbed a heating pad and headed back upstairs around 5am. I piled the pillows behind me, set the heating pad to high and leaned back against it and closed my eyes. Willed my breathing to slow, my heart to return to normal. Focused on the heat coming through my skin and into the muscles of my back
So here I am again, sleep-deprived but no longer crazy. When ZBoy got up this morning, I pulled him to me and apologized for my behavior the night HE was having an anxiety attack in his own dark room. And he smiled his sunny smile up at me and said, "Thanks Mom. I know how much you need to sleep. I'm sorry too."
Love, love, love that boy!
In other news, my post about Gay Marriage made it to BS Sunday over on Good Mom/Bad Mom! You guys may think this is a lousy badge, but I display it on my blog with honor!!!
SwampAngel over at A Florida Journal.
Ya'll have a great Sunday! Don't forget to sign up for Fun Monday!