Nothing major. Just day to day stuff that never ends. Caring for kids, keeping track of appointments, a list of shoulds that seems insurmountable on a daily basis like eating healthily, getting plenty of exercise, spending time in the sun, reading. My days are pretty routine.
I turn off the alarm at 6am and sleep till 7am. Get up, rouse the boy, hunt for clothes for him, feed him, hound him about getting his stuff together. Jump in the shower and throw on clothes. Gulp down two cups of coffee and a bowl of Cherrios. Dash out the door, boy in tow, to take him to school - then drive to work.
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my job. But it's so daily. Every day, program logs and record schedules have to be done. Hopefully, I get to work a head a couple of days so that the weekend is covered without a giant crunch at the last moment. But then I have to hunt down things that are missing and arrange for shipping, put together promo reels to be edited, answer calls, and every three months, the big crunch of Sprout, Quarterly Reports and Nielsen reports all have to be completed. Plus the weird little reports that pop up from accounting or outreach or pledge. Never-ending pledge.
And I'm trying to remember the last time I had a vacation. I think it might have been maternity leave 10 years ago. I did go to England for 10 days a few years ago so that I could see my step-grandmother before she died, but as lovely as that trip was and all the visiting that happened, I'm not sure I count that as a vacation.
I need some solitary time - no kids, no husband, no pets, no demands. Time to just veg, stretch my legs, expand my mind. When was the last time I did that?
The last time I explored a mountain stream?
Or spent a whole day laying around with nothing to do?
Or gazed at the stars in a western sky?
Or slept until I couldn't sleep anymore?
It's been so long since I've recharged my batteries. It's taken a long time for them to run down but I feel like I'm missing my usual spark. I want to feel like this again:
My normal mode of operation.