My birthday was Wednesday. I'm 53 years old now. This is not a bad thing - in fact, it's a very good thing! I look at every day, no matter what is going on, as a blessing and I'm here to witness it.
It's been a year of loss. My friend Alison. My father-in-law Roy. My Korean "Sister". My uncle. There have been others... friends gone far too soon or in some cases, exactly at the right time. I've been thinking about all of these losses and when my uncle died unexpectedly, something finally clicked and I made this:
I must have been loving quite a lot this year.
It also reflects how I really feel. I'm not sure when this shift happened but I feel quite calm about life and death and all the things that happen in-between. Is this because of my faith? Or is it one of those things that happens when you reach a certain point in your life and no one tells you about it?
Whenever it's my time, I know I'll be ready. I will have done whatever I've needed to do and will greet my next adventure with enthusiasm. You have no idea how freeing a feeling that is. I feel like I can really live now because I'm not hindered by fear. Well, except for heights. That still bothers me a bit.
We went to the farm for dinner last night to visit with New York cousins Carol and Ed and to celebrate my birthday as a kind of side-bar. Mom gave me a gift - a book called "642 Things to Write About". When I opened it, I laughed and asked if she was trying to spur me to do more blog-writing again. And she said "Yes!"
So here I am, Mom. Writing again. It's probably about time.