Wednesday, December 20, 2006

5 Days to Go

Christmas is just around the corner now...

Z-boy is practically exploding in excitement. Today is his last early-release day and he's got the next two days off. School is pretty much a waste of time at the moment. It's a placeholder, a breather for parents, a last chance to get something done without a child underfoot. No homework this week. Just games and holiday videos. Sometimes I miss being a kid.

When I was a kid, the lead up to Christmas was much like Z-boy's. All excitement and fun. There's some of that as an adult too, but there are other considerations. Budgets. Cooking. The family politics of where to spend the holiday. Trying to keep your tongue in check when it really wants to lash out. Writers' cramp and last minute cards. Tracking down who's died, moved, divorced. Decorating. Fire safety.

And of course, life in general goes on. It can't stop for the festivities. Work is even more hectic than usual because you have to cram more work in less time when you're taking off. Shopping is crazy. Bills still need to be paid, bathrooms cleaned, cats vaccinated, laundry done.

Sometimes, something unusual brings you up short when you're trudging along getting things done - sometimes griping, sometimes chirping, but still on the treadmill of your life. My unusual happened yesterday. I've been doing the slightly more than usual medical testing in preparation for my yearly physical. Blood work, stress test, mammogram. I've been taking note of any strange things my body's been doing or feeling so I can bring them up at my appointment in February. I'm sitting at my desk at work yesterday, when the testing facility calls and asks me to come back for another mammogram. As soon as possible. How's Friday? Of course, since I had one LAST Friday, a million questions shoot through my mind at once. I don't ask the person on the other end - she's just setting up the appointment and doesn't actually know anything. So I hang up the phone and stew.

As far as I know, other than skin cancer, there isn't a family history of cancer at all. We're all about the blood system. We tend to have strokes or heart attacks. A few have diabetes. Overall, we're quite the long-lived bunch and keel over when we wear our bodies out.

But I'm still scared. It's kind of silly. I don't really know anything. Maybe my original plates didn't get a good image. Maybe the technician didn't sqash me flat enough the first time (it's didn't hurt at all, which is odd, but I chalked it up to actually doing it at the right time of the month or having an excellent technician). But maybe...

As my mother advised me, I'm trying not to worry until there's something to worry about. In the meantime, I look at my world with slightly different eyes. I love my husband a little more. I am more appreciative of my parents. I hug my son a little tighter. Sappy Christmas movies make me tear up a little more easily. And the fact that ALL my brothers will be home for the days leading up to Christmas is even more special (I am really hoping you'll make it, BJ!).

It takes a lot to kill the holiday spirit. I've still got mine!


Jenny said...

I'm still trying to catch the christmas spirit. Thus far it has alluded me. I think I need some cold weather and a copy of It's a Wonderful Life.

Sayre said...

You must be in Florida - or somewhere like it. Just this morning my son was bemoaning the warm weather. "It's just not like Christmas!"

I love "It's a Wonderful Life"! I guess I need to get the DVD because when it's on TV they drag it out so long that I can't stay awake. I've missed the ending for the last three years!

Anonymous said...

BJ is coming.
If there is anything I have learned in life, it is to not waste time stressing about things outside of your control. Things are going to turn out the way they are going to turn out. The key is to try to respond to circumstances, not react to them. Plan and prepare. Also, try hold onto the increased taste for love and life this situation has created in you. That is worth keeping. I don't know about you, but I am amazed by how fast my life is passing. The years are starting to streak by. I did not have to put stocking hangers up this year because they were still up from last year! Squeeze life from every moment!


Sayre said...

Yay! BJ is coming! **flings arms in air and does little happy dance**

You are so right, John. I try to be very cognizant of every day and thankful for the good things in life, but sometimes the shine is a little dull. Personal-type dramas can polish them back up to a high sheen. It's mighty expensive polish, but it sure as heck works!

My years are flying by quickly too. I find myself saying things like "...just the other day..." when "just the other day" was actually four years ago. It's a little surreal sometimes.

Can't wait to see you and the kids!

nikki said...

aww sweetie, i know what you mean. i just got a phone call from a very good friend whose baby boy to be born late january (my godson to be)has fluid on the brain. it's hard not to worry even though it does nothing to help.

Jeff said...

People who work at imaging places really need to have a little information when they call people to come back in. It is silly to worry about something that may have been a smudge or just a bad image.

You are wise not to worry. Worry makes one sick. Teach me not to worry!

Sayre said...

Nikki - I'm so sorry to hear about the baby. I will send many, many positive thoughts his way.

Jeff - I wish I could teach you not to worry. I wish I could teach myself. If I could master that and then teaching it to other people, I'd never have to worry about money again!

S William said...

I have worked in healthcare, and adminstered over 10,000 hearing tests, respiratory tests, blood pressures, etc, etc, etc.

There are a lot of false postivies, or results that looks funky but turn out to be nothing at all.

Hang in there. Big hug your way.

Anonymous said...

I agree with everyone above.
And again, do not worry. The place for that is in the nether regions of your brain or someone elses.

Everything will be fine. Positive thinking can go a very long way.

I am her for you.

Love ya, Many hugs and kisses,

Anonymous said...

I agree with everyone above.
And again, do not worry. The place for that is in the nether regions of your brain or someone elses.

Everything will be fine. Positive thinking can go a very long way.

I am her for you.

Love ya, Many hugs and kisses,

jay said...

I'm not set on coming just yet, as you know. Neuralgia is worse than I ever anticipated it being. I'm staying put on the couch for the next 24 hours in hopes that'll be enough to get me from the doorstep to the car.

Keep happy thoughts coming...

Apricoco said...


I hope everything is ok with you. I will be keeping you in my prayers!

Christina_the_wench said...

Merry Christmas, Sayre! =)