5 Days to Go

Christmas is just around the corner now...

Z-boy is practically exploding in excitement. Today is his last early-release day and he's got the next two days off. School is pretty much a waste of time at the moment. It's a placeholder, a breather for parents, a last chance to get something done without a child underfoot. No homework this week. Just games and holiday videos. Sometimes I miss being a kid.

When I was a kid, the lead up to Christmas was much like Z-boy's. All excitement and fun. There's some of that as an adult too, but there are other considerations. Budgets. Cooking. The family politics of where to spend the holiday. Trying to keep your tongue in check when it really wants to lash out. Writers' cramp and last minute cards. Tracking down who's died, moved, divorced. Decorating. Fire safety.

And of course, life in general goes on. It can't stop for the festivities. Work is even more hectic than usual because you have to cram more work in less time when you're taking off. Shopping is crazy. Bills still need to be paid, bathrooms cleaned, cats vaccinated, laundry done.

Sometimes, something unusual brings you up short when you're trudging along getting things done - sometimes griping, sometimes chirping, but still on the treadmill of your life. My unusual happened yesterday. I've been doing the slightly more than usual medical testing in preparation for my yearly physical. Blood work, stress test, mammogram. I've been taking note of any strange things my body's been doing or feeling so I can bring them up at my appointment in February. I'm sitting at my desk at work yesterday, when the testing facility calls and asks me to come back for another mammogram. As soon as possible. How's Friday? Of course, since I had one LAST Friday, a million questions shoot through my mind at once. I don't ask the person on the other end - she's just setting up the appointment and doesn't actually know anything. So I hang up the phone and stew.

As far as I know, other than skin cancer, there isn't a family history of cancer at all. We're all about the blood system. We tend to have strokes or heart attacks. A few have diabetes. Overall, we're quite the long-lived bunch and keel over when we wear our bodies out.

But I'm still scared. It's kind of silly. I don't really know anything. Maybe my original plates didn't get a good image. Maybe the technician didn't sqash me flat enough the first time (it's didn't hurt at all, which is odd, but I chalked it up to actually doing it at the right time of the month or having an excellent technician). But maybe...

As my mother advised me, I'm trying not to worry until there's something to worry about. In the meantime, I look at my world with slightly different eyes. I love my husband a little more. I am more appreciative of my parents. I hug my son a little tighter. Sappy Christmas movies make me tear up a little more easily. And the fact that ALL my brothers will be home for the days leading up to Christmas is even more special (I am really hoping you'll make it, BJ!).

It takes a lot to kill the holiday spirit. I've still got mine!