Saturday, January 03, 2009

The Bloom is Off the Rose

Winter vacation is almost over. For most of that time, ZBoy has been home with me playing computer games or video games and don't worry, he spends at least an hour doing some kind of physical exercise before he's allowed to play.

His friends Ben and Jesse have been out of town visiting family, so his usual playmates haven't been available.

Jesse got back into town yesterday and they weren't home an hour before Jesse was on the phone to ZBoy asking him if he could come over to spend the night and try out his new Wii. With great glee, he disappeared over to Jesse's house and if I hadn't called him before I went to bed last night, I doubt that I would have heard from him.

The phone silence continued through most of today. Darling Man was working, Z was gone and I spend the day doing absolutely nothing. After days of intense activity, I needed that downtime.

Finally, around 3:30, the phone rang. It was Z saying he was ready to come home and could Jesse spend the night... I agreed and went to pick them up.

As soon as they walked in the door, the video games came on again. We don't have a Wii - ours are the old fashioned kind where you sit on your butt and your thumbs do all the work. But Z really didn't want to play what Jesse wanted to play, so after a brief time playing together, Jesse was playing alone and Z was lobbying to get on the computer.

I told him no. If he wanted company, he wasn't going to get lost in cyber-world, he would be available to his guest. Then I went to the kitchen to make meatloaf.

I was pushing the meat-mixture into the loaf pan when ZBoy silently appeared next to me. I put my arm around him and he looked up at me and said, "Sometimes I think Jesse only likes me for what I have. That he doesn't really like me."

Well, there are a lot of things ZBoy has that Jesse doesn't. He has his own home. He has a father. He has two parents who love him and no siblings he has to share that love with. He has involved and interested parents who talk to him and do things with him and don't just put him in front of the tv to get him out of the way. So yes. I can see where Jesse might like what ZBoy has.

But Jesse has something very worthwhile too - ZBoy as a friend. Someone who cares if he's lonely or bored.

I hugged him and we went upstairs to watch some of "Sky High" together. And then Jesse came in looking for Z. And said he was lonely.

ZBoy immediately jumped up and they went off in search of light sabers together.

It's a tough lesson to learn sometimes. People don't always like you for who you are, but for what you have or what you can do for them. You can be the most wonderful person in the world and still have that happen.

The thought crossed ZBoy's mind, but I don't think it's actually happened to him - at least not yet.


grace said...

Thank you so much for your thoughts and kind words, his fever is now down and he has agreed to sleep in his own bed, so that is progress. You are right, he would not go to his daddy.

Mrs. Really Long Last Name said...

well, it sounds like Jesse needs someone like your son in his life.

Zboy is an amazing young man and I think its a testament to you and hubby that he is the way that he is.

Hugs to you all.

nikki said...

Ah, that is a really hard lesson to learn. Hopefully it's not the case. Dang it sucks watching your kids learn the hard lessons in life. It's like sticking a knife in your heart.

Sandcastle Momma said...

Doesn't it just hurt your heart when your kids have to learn those tough lessons? Jesse is a lucky young man to have ZBoy as a friend and perhaps ZBoy's actions will help show Jesse that yes ZBoy has cool stuff but it's really ZBoy's heart and his friendship that makes being with him special. ZBoy could be teaching Jesse a life lesson without even knowing it.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear...I guess lessons like this are a painful part of the growing-up process. However, as you said, while your son is now aware of this possibility, it might not be the case right now. He is lucky to have a Mom like you, and Jesse is lucky to have your ZBoy as a friend!

karisma said...

Im sure Jesse loves Z-boy for who he is! Who wouldn't? Kids just sometimes get over focused on "stuff" its quite normal. We have been having much the same around here, the boys have had a friend over nearly every day and they have been going back and forth. I think sometimes two days is more than enough, they need a little break from each other. As for Cyber world, I awoke this morning to find three little boys all lined up on computers in the office. I should have taken a picture it looked so funny, like midget office workers. Thankfully they are all playing outside now and running amock as they do!

movin' down the road said...

I love this. Wow. What a lesson. My girls struggle with including each other when they have a playmate or friend over. That is a challenge. And when the friend who is over is mean to the sibling of the friend (my other kid) they are there to visit, oh man, watch out.