Fun Monday - Always on My Mind

Faye over at Summit Musings is our host for this week's Fun Monday, and her devious mind has come up with this challenge:

"What's on your mind as we close out 2008 and begin 2009? Large and small. What are often your first thoughts the minute you wake up? When you're alone and unguarded? Working? Stuck in traffic? Playing with the children? Walking the dogs? When you can't sleep?"

Oh, boy.... Faye, you may be sorry you asked because my answers may make me sound a little crazy. Well, maybe I am, but it's been this way for me for most of my life.

These days, the first thoughts of my day are often "@#$%^ CAT!" There is a reason! Darling Man is a very early riser. When he gets up, he makes coffee and goes out to get the newspaper and when he comes back in, French, who rarely spends the night inside comes in with him. French is as close to a wild cat as we have. He comes home to eat and if it's really cold, to sleep curled up next to someone's feet but otherwise, we don't see much of him. DM then feeds the cats, drinks his coffee, showers and heads out for work or running or some such thing. Leaving all munching animals inside and the dogs outside. French is rarely finished by the time DM leaves, but shortly thereafter (which is around 5:30am), he comes upstairs and starts yowling to be let out. I awaken from a sound sleep with the aforementioned thought screaming through my brain as I grab my robe, stomp down the stairs and put the darned cat OUT. Then I either stagger to the coffee maker or back up to bed.

The thought can also be "@#$%^ DOG!" Revan barks. At everything. I do wonder if his eyesight is very good because some of what he barks at doesn't make much sense. Kida never barked until Revan came along, so our neighbors were used to a nice quiet dog. They go out in the morning when DM gets up, and he leaves them out when he leaves. And sometimes, Revan goes off. He likes to do it between our house and the next door neighbor's house so it's really loud and echo-y. I get up, stomp downstairs, go in the garage, open the door. Revan already knows he's in deep shit when I fling that door open, so he sidles inside and hits the floor, making himself as small as possible. I close the door, go back in the house and leave him in the garage alone until it's time to feed him - which is usually about two and a half hours later.

Thankfully, the Revan thing doesn't happen that often. The French one happens nearly daily.

As for the other categories, well, that's when the voices in my head have free rein. They have whole conversations or tell stories. They argue the other side of whatever else I'm thinking of. Their presence for most of my life is what makes me think that I should be a writer - because my imagination just doesn't ever seem to stop. If, for instance, I have an argument with ZBoy before school, my drive to work consists of internal discussion of how I could have handled that better, how wrong it could have gone, and also how well I handled whatever it was. The dialogue covers the entire spectrum of points of view. It's rather bizarre, actually.

I rarely remember dreams, which you might think would spark some of this. No, it all comes at the moment, spontaneously out of whatever is going on. I try to comfort myself with the thought that I have truly mastered "living in the moment", but perhaps I really just need medication... I don't spend much time worrying about anything but right now. Future plans are somewhat vague. When I'm at work, I'm working and doing all that needs to be done. When I'm home cooking, I'm cooking - when I'm cleaning, I'm cleaning and I am always THERE in whatever I'm doing, with the commentary going on in the background of my mind. It's a bit like living your life as golf coverage.

The problem with those voices (thoughts) is that they tend to crowd each other out, so I don't always remember what it was they said. Perhaps I should start carrying around a little dictaphone so I can say whatever they're saying. I bet the dialogue sections of my writing would improve tremendously if I could manage that!!!