Sunday, January 04, 2009

Fun Monday - Always on My Mind

Faye over at Summit Musings is our host for this week's Fun Monday, and her devious mind has come up with this challenge:

"What's on your mind as we close out 2008 and begin 2009? Large and small. What are often your first thoughts the minute you wake up? When you're alone and unguarded? Working? Stuck in traffic? Playing with the children? Walking the dogs? When you can't sleep?"

Oh, boy.... Faye, you may be sorry you asked because my answers may make me sound a little crazy. Well, maybe I am, but it's been this way for me for most of my life.

These days, the first thoughts of my day are often "@#$%^ CAT!" There is a reason! Darling Man is a very early riser. When he gets up, he makes coffee and goes out to get the newspaper and when he comes back in, French, who rarely spends the night inside comes in with him. French is as close to a wild cat as we have. He comes home to eat and if it's really cold, to sleep curled up next to someone's feet but otherwise, we don't see much of him. DM then feeds the cats, drinks his coffee, showers and heads out for work or running or some such thing. Leaving all munching animals inside and the dogs outside. French is rarely finished by the time DM leaves, but shortly thereafter (which is around 5:30am), he comes upstairs and starts yowling to be let out. I awaken from a sound sleep with the aforementioned thought screaming through my brain as I grab my robe, stomp down the stairs and put the darned cat OUT. Then I either stagger to the coffee maker or back up to bed.

The thought can also be "@#$%^ DOG!" Revan barks. At everything. I do wonder if his eyesight is very good because some of what he barks at doesn't make much sense. Kida never barked until Revan came along, so our neighbors were used to a nice quiet dog. They go out in the morning when DM gets up, and he leaves them out when he leaves. And sometimes, Revan goes off. He likes to do it between our house and the next door neighbor's house so it's really loud and echo-y. I get up, stomp downstairs, go in the garage, open the door. Revan already knows he's in deep shit when I fling that door open, so he sidles inside and hits the floor, making himself as small as possible. I close the door, go back in the house and leave him in the garage alone until it's time to feed him - which is usually about two and a half hours later.

Thankfully, the Revan thing doesn't happen that often. The French one happens nearly daily.

As for the other categories, well, that's when the voices in my head have free rein. They have whole conversations or tell stories. They argue the other side of whatever else I'm thinking of. Their presence for most of my life is what makes me think that I should be a writer - because my imagination just doesn't ever seem to stop. If, for instance, I have an argument with ZBoy before school, my drive to work consists of internal discussion of how I could have handled that better, how wrong it could have gone, and also how well I handled whatever it was. The dialogue covers the entire spectrum of points of view. It's rather bizarre, actually.

I rarely remember dreams, which you might think would spark some of this. No, it all comes at the moment, spontaneously out of whatever is going on. I try to comfort myself with the thought that I have truly mastered "living in the moment", but perhaps I really just need medication... I don't spend much time worrying about anything but right now. Future plans are somewhat vague. When I'm at work, I'm working and doing all that needs to be done. When I'm home cooking, I'm cooking - when I'm cleaning, I'm cleaning and I am always THERE in whatever I'm doing, with the commentary going on in the background of my mind. It's a bit like living your life as golf coverage.

The problem with those voices (thoughts) is that they tend to crowd each other out, so I don't always remember what it was they said. Perhaps I should start carrying around a little dictaphone so I can say whatever they're saying. I bet the dialogue sections of my writing would improve tremendously if I could manage that!!!

17 comments:

Molly said...

Sayre, you do not sound crazy at all. The voices or thoughts that you write about may be just you trying to figure out the the world around you.

I hope that dog and cat let you sleep tomorrow. Take care.

karisma said...

LOL! Maybe we should all have made that our new years resolution, to stop talking to ourselves and listening to little voices in our heads! Maybe thats why we all get along so well, we are all as mad as each other! Too funny!

Pamela said...

I 'imagine' future conversations in my head. At least you just go over the ones you already had. (:

I think we sometimes entertain ourselves with our mind that way. It has to do something while we are involved in the mundane

Celeste said...

I try to avoid the conversations in my head....it's a very critical group up there (grin).

Hootin' Anni said...

Hmmmmm, you hear voices? I'm thinking, "Yes!!" You SHOULD have a dictaphone with you....write it all down, make a book...becoming a best seller, and make a movie from it!! Then, you could have servants to let French out and Revan in!!!

Come read mine if you can find time. Happy Fun Monday!!

m (the misanthrope) said...

Hahaha!! Fabulous post! Just because I seem to have a whole jukebox in my head, doesn't mean those little voices aren't in there too. It's crowded in our heads! I also replay recent events and ponder how I could have handled them differently or better. Then I say, to heck with it, I'm going to Vegas! (On a mental walking tour of course...) Padded cell, here I come!

~sWaMpY~ said...

Oh My Goodness ! I'm rolling at your mention of "voices." Does this make us "soul mates?" You know what I'm talkin' about, sistah.

Janis said...

Sometimes those voices are good, those are the ones we have to listen to, the rest, just tell them where to go.

Cruise Mom said...

I have a *&^% cat too! She demands to be allowed to climb UNDER the covers at 2AM or so.

nikki said...

I always talk to the voices in my head. Some of my best phone conversations ever.

{i}Post said...

I go to sleep AND wake up thinking &$*$^%( CATS! They lay on my feet and pin me to the bed and then meow to be fed in the morning!

ChrisB said...

I always talk to my voices it's the only sane conversations I have in this house!

Jo said...

Looks like there's a whole group of us with "voices". I'm going to tell my husband that I'm not so different after all. . . . . . then again, maybe it wouldn't hurt him to go on thinking there's no one else like me. ;o)

I do wish I had a bit more of your "right now" thinking. Too often, I find myself thinking about whatever it is I'm NOT doing. I'm living under what is probably a misguided notion that if I could just get enough done, I'd stop thinking about the unfinished.

hulagirlatheart said...

Doesn't everyone have voices? Or that just you and me..and Swampy?

Bobbie Leigh said...

The voices in your head can be your best friends- I know from experience!

Alison said...

I can totally relate to your post. I do the same thing when I have a conflict with one of the kids, I carry on conversations with my voices too!

Gattina said...

My thought now is that we are very much alike in thinking, except I have no dog worries or a husband getting up early, mine stays in bed until ALL cats are fed !