Tuesday, July 13, 2010

NoMom's Land

I had to go to the medical lab today for a DEXA scan. I arrived a little early, filled out my forms, then went and sat in a chair against the wall. Normally, I bring something to read or go peruse the book sale rack, but today I picked up the "Parenting" magazine on the table next to me.

I thumbed through articles about pregnancy, hitting, getting pre-schoolers to be responsible, and the importance of organic eggs. The Q & A articles were all about teething and separation anxiety (both mom's and baby's), and there were ads for cribs and various educational toys.

Does this magazine think parenting stops when the kid goes to school? There wasn't one article that dealt with school-aged children. I tried to think of a magazine that dealt with school kids. Couldn't come up with one. I know that the "women's" magazines like Redbook or Ladies Home Journal or Good Housekeeping sometimes have articles on dealing with teens, but as much as I wracked my brain, couldn't come up with a single magazine aimed at mothers of elementary, middle-school, or high-school aged kids.

I kind of feel like I'm living in NoMom's Land. Once my child stepped foot in an elementary classroom, I was on my own. We've dealt with serious issues like moving, losing a pet, changing schools, friends who aren't friends anymore, and bullying. Left to our own devices and advice from friends and family, we took self-defense classes, sent my son to therapy, joined a baseball team, and learned to cook. Somehow, we muddled through the elementary years intact and fairly sucessfully.

Now I have the middle school years to look forward to. Peer pressure and the urge to conform along with hormones beginning to kick in and the advent of acne. Is there a magazine that's going to help me with all of that? I don't think so.

Right now, things are wonderful. My boy is cheerful and happy and loving. He pretty much does as I ask and in return, I don't hover or try to direct every moment of his day. He cleans his room when it needs it. He has friends that he sees from time to time. When his dad has to work at night, he and I have a lovely evening just the two of us. We talk or watch movies or just hang out. We enjoy each other's company and he's not embarrassed to have me as his mom or to go anywhere with me.

I know it can't last and I'm not sure when the end of this lovely idyl will happen - I just know that it will. And I'll be back to muddling through and trying to figure out how to be the best parent I can for this child.

Wish me luck.

7 comments:

Karmyn R said...

I never thought of that before. It is true. The one good thing about elementary is meeting other parents who are having the same issues - and talking about them together. Sometimes advice given in this way is better than any book you can read!

Island Rider said...

My church gives these magazines away to parents of the kids in our youth group. You could probaby figure out a way to get a subscription by going to Lifeway.com.

http://www.lifeway.com/lwc/files/lwcF_crd_mgz_LWTsample_pdf.pdf

Janis said...

The teen years are the biggest challenge...sounds like you are preparing yourself. Its a fine line between giving your teen space, you got to know when to hold them and fold them...friends are very important and hopefully, if his friends are being raised with the same morals n values, your job will be easier. Good Luck Sayre and hold on to those special moments with Z,,hopefully they will continue and he will stay close.

Sandy said...

Wishing you luck, sending your prayers, good thoughts, whatever mojo I have, and a good memory so that when Z does drive you 'round the bend, you can remember why you like him. I know you'll remember that you love him...sometimes it's hard to remember that we like(d) them!

Pamela said...

looking back I wish I'd tied'em up in the house..... and then got thrown in jail when I got caught. ha.

~sWaMpY~ said...

My 25 years in the classroom were spent mostly in a middle school classroom. I absolutely adored that age group...someone had to...their parents were a bit ambivalent...
Here was one parents' take on the whole deal:

When they turn 13, put them in a barrel and let them breathe through the knot hole...when they turn 16, put a cork in the knot hole.

Native Mom said...

Google is the "parenting magazine" for moms with kids older than toddlers, like you and me. My daughter starts middle school this year. She recently suffered her first real heartbreaking disappointment and I had to google "helping your child deal with disappointment" to figure out what to do.