Gilda Said It!

IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING....

So... things are going along swimmingly! Got my tax stuff from last year from Ron, got the paystubs from the computer, met with Linda at the bank and got everything filled out with crossed t's and dotted i's - until we came to the closing date. Apparently the bank can lock in the percentage rate for 30 days, but there's no guarantee after that. With an April 16th proposed closing - that's too long. We're waiting to hear from the seller if she'd be willing to move it up so we can go ahead and push paper tomorrow.

All this panic reminded me that, hey, it's MARCH so I'd better get my patootie in gear with the tax stuff for THIS year. Ron's a pretty laid-back-easy-going-sort, but even he gets a bit testy when asked to work miracles too close to the deadline. So I set myself up with every bit of paper I can find on my diningroom table last night and go through bank statements and receipts and make lists and copies and organize, organize, organize into individual envelopes with labels on the front which then get filed into a big envelope which will go to Ron this weekend. Once I'm finished doing tax stuff, I decide to organize the rest of my finances and get a jump on organization for NEXT year (can you say "anal retentive"?). I'm sorting miscellaneous envelopes and offers and without really looking at it, open a credit card bill and set it in the "pay now" pile.

When I get back around to it, I realize that it's not ours. Here's the weird thing. We have a very unusual name. Everyone in this area with our last name is related. The spelling is odd, the pronounciation is odd - no one EVER spells it right. So this bill, which I initially thought was for my husband's credit card struck me as very strange. Let's say our last name is "Jonzeu". I open this bill that has the word "Jonzeu" on the front, and realize that it cannot be ours because the balance is all wrong. Closer inspection reveals the owner of the card is "Tim SportsJonzeu", one of the Party Boys from next door (though I only ever knew one of their names and have never actually laid EYES on these people).

I can tell you that alarm bells went off all over my brain. My husband does a lot of work on the side with various sports production companies - both local and national - and they mail his money to him. This corruption of our name seemed like a nose-thumb in our direction by some smartass little college boy who knows his way around a computer better than his elders but with fewer ethics. I was seriously pissed - and concerned because if he'd messed around with our credit, the house might be a pipe dream after all. Of course, the downside for him would have been that he'd have to keep living next to us... and I can be very vindictive. Evil, even in my plots and plans (not that I'd EVER put powdered poison ivy in the hot tub...).

So armed with my limited prowess as an amateur detective, I hit the phone book. Nope. Not there. Pondering a call to the credit card company. Darling Man chased me down the hallway waving the official university phone book. I'll be damned. It's a real guy. Enrolled in school and seeking a degree with this weird-ass version of our name.

Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction. And it is ALWAYS something.