Energy Flow

This is a cross-over post from my other blog Because I'm Fat. This is where my head has been in the last couple of days.

I went to my first Reiki session on Monday, and ever since then, I've been trying to figure out how to write about it. I finally decided not to think about it anymore and just do it. It might not make much sense or sound a little new-age-y but just roll with it.

The office was an older home that was in an area where the houses had been converted to office space - not uncommon in my town. The front office was immediately relaxing, with hardwood floors, soft lighting, flowers, and comfortable-looking chairs. Melanie met me at the door, showed me the bathroom and then took me to the room where we would do this. There was a nice massage table in the middle of the room, a stereo playing relaxing music and a couple of chairs. We sat in these chairs and talked about what we were about to do.

She asked me first, why I had chosen Reiki and what I expected from our session. I told her that I felt like I was all knotted up inside, that my insides were constantly clinched but that it wasn't muscular, but more of a knotted up soul for lack of a better word. That I'd been under heavy duty stress for a long time in spite of outward appearances and felt like I'd reached a critical mass where I would either explode or simply disappear. Nothing I had tried so far seemed to touch this feeling and it was literally choking me. I felt like there were hands constantly around my neck. It's hard to sleep, or think, or do anything when you feel like that. And I was hoping that this session would release some of that tension so I could feel like a human being again. I really didn't know what else to do at this point.

My uncle, who lives in England, was the first person I'd ever heard of doing this. Three years ago when I went over there to visit and see my dying grandmother, we'd gone for a long walk and I asked him what he did with his time. And he started telling me about Reiki. How it changed his life, how he stumbled across it by accident at a street fair, that he learned how to do it and practiced it. It sounded interesting and I thought I'd try it sometime, but then I kind of forgot about it as the rest of my life swallowed me up when I got home. But lately, I've had cause to think of it again.

Fully-dressed, I laid down on the massage table and closed my eyes. Melanie started at my head, cradling my head with her hands underneath. I began to see colors, which resolved into a purple triangle, with green around the outer field of my "vision" moving toward the triangle and turning gold as it moved. It was beautiful. As she moved her hands around my head, what I was seeing stayed the same, but I could feel this interesting wave-action in her hands as well. Reiki is an exchange of energy and my energy was what was making her hands move.

When she was done with my head, her hands moved to my throat and everything went black. Literally. I think she spent a lot of time there before moving to my heart. At my heart, I saw red and orange and her hands vibrated violently, eventually subsiding to stillness. She moved her way down my torso, then had me turn over and worked on my back. At my kidneys she felt more interesting activity and her hands became hot. Eventually, she moved to my feet, ushering out the negative engergy and regrounding me. Then she thanked me, got up and left.

I laid there for a couple of minutes, thinking about what I'd just experienced, then sat up. Melanie came back in with a bottle of water, gave it to me, and sat down. We talked about what we'd experienced (remember, this is a two-way street). She talked about what the various colors I'd seen might mean (purple is spirituality, the green healing, and she wasn't sure what the gold meant). The black was pretty obvious though and she said that she'd wondered about that - it was darker on the left side than the right - was I having thyroid problems? I have been tested and had negative results. She suggested that I have a saliva test, which I could talk to my doctor about. It was obvious that I was having major issues with my throat to her, even though I didn't mention it when I was talking to her before the session. We talked more about what we thought, then I paid her and we walked to the front door. She told me that I might experience some emotional upheaval in the next couple of days because this kind of energy work tends to unleash buried emotional stresses, but that hasn't happened so far. We hugged and I left feeling happier and more at peace than I'd felt in a long time.

Later that day, I realized that my throat was clear. No one's invisible hands were around my neck anymore. I could sleep without fear of choking. I could swallow and not have to go past the lump that had been living in my throat. That alone was worth the money I spent. I've been more relaxed, slower to anger, and able to concentrate more. The sleep I've had in the last two nights were better than any I've had in years.

I'm going back. I would like to do this every couple of weeks, but if I can't swing that, perhaps once a month. I never want to feel like I've been feeling these last couple of years again.

Thanks, Melanie.