Joys of Home Ownership

So, today was the last day of Guys with No Shirts. They were finishing up some caulking when this car showed up in my driveway.

Apparently this is what contract satellite guys drive to their jobs these days. He was woefully unprepared - the battery on his drill was dead and he had a little ladder that MIGHT make it to the roof of a one story house. It was folded up in the trunk. He wore droopy pants and shoes that kept coming untied, and was a bit overweight and slow. He climbed out, admired the roof, then asked where the dish was. The roofers had just unbolted it and it was hanging upside down under the eave on the second story. I pointed it out to him and he kind of deflated.

Then he sucked it up and asked the roofers if he could borrow their ladder and did they have a spare battery for his drill that he could use. He slowly climbed the ladder and made his way across the roof.

At the end, he laid down on the roof and reached over - success!!!!!

He sat down, looking like a little kid trying to build something. Meanwhile, the roofers finished up and cleaned up. He killed the battery. They took him another one. That one died. They took him another one. Finally, they were all packed up and ready to go - except for their ladder and the battery packs he had up there.

We stood around in the front yard and watched. Every now and then, he would look at us and flash us a nervous grin. Finally, he finished up and began making his way back towards the ladder. Halfway there, he froze. He couldn't move. One of the roofers went up to try to talk him down.

It took a few minutes. He couldn't bend his knees and he was terrified of sliding off. A very real terror, actually, as the pollen has been falling heavily and the roof was quite slick with it.

RooferGuy finally got him to turn around and put his hands on the ribs and back towards the ladder. When he got close enough, RG put his hands on the backs of his shoes and finally, Satellite Guy got on the ladder and came down.

There was lots of manly back-clapping and hand-shaking and the Guys with No Shirts reloaded the ladder, collected their batteries and drove off in a puff of pollen. Satellite Guy started shaking and sat down in his car to do the paperwork.

After it was all filled out and signed, he had to check in and notify the company that he'd finished the job. Then he handed the phone to me. The rep on the other end asked me if he showed up in the time fram expected. Yes. Was he polite and professional? Yes. Did he complete the job to your satisfaction? Yes.

Never mind that he was slow and slovenly-looking. He had a great attitude and showed A LOT of courage and by golly he did his job even though he was absolutely terrified. When they asked me if I would rate his performance as Outstanding, Satisfactory or Unsatisfactory, I said Outstanding. How could I not?

He left, probably for a very stiff drink and suddenly I was alone at my house for the first time in nearly a week. The Guys with No Shirts, the Satellite Guy and me - we ALL have a story to tell today!

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This is for Min - who wrote marvelous Zombie Haiku for her post today.

There are things that are worse....