I don't usually click on links when I'm on FaceBook. I don't like getting hacked or spammed or whatever it is that happens when you click on a bad link... but the title of this one was irresistable and so I did. I've attached the link, so read it (you'll be glad you did).
Waking Up Full of Awesome
Isn't that a great blogpost title?
I read that whole thing and started thinking... I usually wake up full of awesome! Well-rested, eager to start the day, ready for whatever gets thrown at me - that's my usual wake up attitude.
In a lot of ways, I seem to be reverting to that sense of awesome that children have. Believe me, there are years and years of my personal history that weren't awesome and I didn't feel awesome. I felt small and ugly. Fat. Lazy. Stupid. Hopelessly disorganized in every aspect of my life.
Some of those things are still here. I'm still fat. Parts of my life, in spite of my best efforts, are still hopelessly disorganized. But I've never been lazy or stupid (quite the contrary) or even ugly. It was just other people's perceptions, people who didn't like me for some reason, that I'd absorbed and made my own. That may be the reason I'm fat - that mean perception of who I am (or it could be that I just really, really like cheese and am not terribly fond of sweating).
So what's changed now? Why do I wake up happy most mornings... I'm still getting older. My joints hurt more often than not and my sinuses drive me crazy - and yet those things don't really bother me that much. Instead, I think about the things I will accomplish that day, the people I'll talk to, the food I'll enjoy and doing things for the family that I love. It's almost like someone threw a switch and I got happy.
Perhaps it's knowing that I've got an awesome son. And a husband who loves me no matter how crazy he thinks I am. And a wonderful family of parents and brothers and cousins and aunts and uncles and even grandparents still. That in spite of the stresses and ups and downs, I still have a job that I enjoy doing, a house I love working on and a car that functions.
My life isn't perfect. I don't make enough money. We have a lot of debt. My health isn't what it should be (and I have life insurance just in case I can't turn that around). My body aches, my fat jiggles and my hair is getting thin.
And I'm happy. God loves me and listens when no one else will. He watches out for those I love and the concerns I have - and I get to let go of those every time I talk to Him. Sundays are a big boost to my happiness these days. I get to combine my personal prayers with public ritual that gives me a whole new lift on Sunday mornings - and it gets me right to start the week. I get a booster shot on Wednesdays with a meal and fellowship. I'm grateful for the things I have and don't worry too much about the things I don't have.
And I think that may be the crux of happiness. Faith. As a child, we had faith that parents loved us, that our beds would be warm and our bellies filled and that days would be full of adventure. I'm a grown-up now and my faith is more mature but in some ways also childlike. I believe that no matter what obstacles I face, everything will be alright.
And THAT, my friends, is the key to Waking Up Awesome.