Friday, August 17, 2007

"I never get any mail!"

Well, neither do I. Not GOOD mail. Not often. Actually, pretty much the only good mail I get is from my grandmother in Wales. She doesn't have a computer, so if I want to communicate with her, and she with me, we depend on the US Postmaster and the Royal Mail.

The rest of the mail is BAD mail. Bills. Ads. Circulars. Catalogs. Political propaganda. Send us Money! pleas. Most of it goes straight into the trash.

When ZBoy wailed the title of this post, I realized that the post office could benefit from making mail good again, instead of threatening to close down for good or to bid out various services. I was thinking about this as I was wandering around Barnes & Noble after my thwarted attempts to replace the hand grips the dog ate for the Bowflex. So, I worked on mail for ZBoy.

His first piece of mail will be an anonymous card that says "I will NEVER forget YOU!" in Pooh-speak along with a $20.00 gift certificate to B&N.

The second and third pieces of mail will be one of these two books:


And once the weather cools down a bit and the heat won't do damage to them, I'll be sending him THESE:


The flavors? Earwax, Booger, Sausage, Black Pepper, Vomit, Dirt, Soap, Rotten Egg, Pickle, and Earthworm. I will be curious as to whether or not they actually did the flavors or they just call them that. After all, who did the taste testing?

I realize that I'm setting myself up here, but I believe that children SHOULD have mail. The GOOD kind. Not the kind that Mommy and Daddy have to pay for. And later on, I can write him letters. About stuff that he wonders about, stuff that he worries about, stuff that's important as he gets older.

The next challenge is finding a mailbox. I lucked out because my way home passes a small office park with postal boxes in the median, but they're not all over the place like they used to be. I will have to keep my eyes open as I cruise around town for those friendly blue boxes.


Prime said...

I've had the gross-flavor jelly beans. Yep, they really taste like that.

Cece said...

You're a cool mom!

Liane Michel said...

You are AWESOME! I need to be more like you! What an excellent idea to send your child real mail! Lucky Zack.

P.S., the ear wax is exactly correct. Don't ask me how I know.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I've seen that candy...GROSS! Heh. I like the idea of sending mail like that. My dad's girlfriend sends little things to the girls on occasion and the kids love it. She sends handmade cards to them too (she is an artist). How do you feel about Junie B? I found it frustrating that the grammar was incorrect/baby talkish.

Anonymous said...

What a great idea, sending mail to your boy! I'm going to do it too for my nephew and nieces. You ARE a cool mom!

Jenny said...

I love, love love this idea.

I totally need to do this for my neice and nephew.

PS. Your comment you left me on my naked blogging post has haunted me. I'd love to share you post if you feel up to sharing it and I promise, I would never judge you.

And if you decide not to, I understand and support that too.

No matter what I'm proud to call you a friend.

Factor 10 said...

Oh, Sayre, never doubt the awesome power of Jelly Belly. I will never accept another jelly bean from the Honey again (bleah).

My mom sends the kids birthday cards and just because cards, and they love getting them.

The New Parent said...

Hi S--first time here and what a neat post and idea. I love the thought of sending mail to our children (smile)!

Great thought, thanks.

Patience said...

I loved getting mail when I was a kid!! It didn't matter what it was!

My grand-mother was a great letter writer, and if I sent her a letter, she always wrote me back.

Mail is sooooo much better than email!

nikki said...

What a wonderful idea. I'm totally going to steal it. (if that's okay with you!)

Momish said...

Oh, that is such a great idea! You are too awesome. I will have to remember this when my daughter is older. Right now, she thinks all the mail is hers anyway. The point would be missed completely.

"Mine. Mine. Dat's mine."

Sayre said...

EVERYONE is welcome to steal this idea!

Ironically, my son got mail of his own today - and not from me! His half-brother's wife sent him a postcard while they were in vacation in Oregon. They got back on Thursday, but the postcard didn't arrive until today. He was thrilled!