I Feel Like Crying Today

This time, it's not hormonal.  It's circumstantial.  It's not gasping sobs, but more of a quiet welling up and spilling over from time to time.  And it's not one thing, it's several.

Tomorrow is the end of the month.  It's also the last day for two co-workers that I've worked with for a while - one for years and years, the other more recent but necessary to how I operate in my job.  They are leaving because they've been laid off.  Overall, four employees have been let go.  It would have been five, but my friend Nick died before the cuts were made, so they just didn't replace him and the number went down to four.  One friend, my editor, is already gone.  He left last week and has another job.  I haven't seen one of them since the announcement.  And the last two are trying to sort and finish up stuff before walking out the door for the last time.  Except for my editor, none of them are going to other jobs, but are still looking.  They have families and commitments and unique talents - but no jobs.  I've been feeling sad about this for a while, but the immediacy of tomorrow's departures is bringing it home.

And I heard more bad news last night.  My BFF's son who has had Ewing's sarcoma, fought and won (losing a leg in the process) has had a recurrence.  It's in his spine this time.  My heart goes out to my friend.  She's not had an easy life, but has met every challenge like a champ.  She is a tigress when it comes to her kids and I know if she could get between her son and his cancer, she would in a heartbeat.  But that's not possible.  All she can do is be supportive, love him, and do the things that must be done.

I have friends fighting battles, friends in pain, friends who don't know what's going to happen next.  I can't list them all here, but God knows who they are and what they need.  And all I can do is pray for them.

My prayer list is getting pretty long.